Personally, I don’t think it’s that bad as long as it’s something that both metamour want or that one metamour needs and the other understands why and can accept this arrangement. Parallel polyamory usually gets a bad rap and is seen as a negative or unhealthy approach to polyamory. So, their relationships will happen concurrently but never intersect, like a pair of railroad tracks. They’ll each have relationships with the same partner but won’t spend any time together. □ Are you new to polyamory? Check out these resources.Ī ‘parallel’ approach to polyamory is where metamours will have little to no contact with each other. So, it would be best if you did what works for you for now while also being open to change in the future. We’re all unique, with individual approaches and differing capacities for connection at various points in our lives. This is why expectations don’t work when it comes to creating bonds with others. Understandably, your relationship with some colleagues could feel quite forced and awkward. Alternatively, if all of this were to happen organically, then that would feel amazing. Now, imagine working for a company that expects everyone to be best friends and behave like a tight-knit family. Some I basically never engaged with, simply because I knew we had little in common beyond working for the same company. Others have been people I mostly chatted to only at the work Christmas party but still quite liked. Some I’ve really enjoyed hanging out with when we worked together. Some people I’ve worked with have become my closest friends. ![]() I view these various approaches to metamour relationships in a similar way to work colleagues. So, if a new love interest informs you that they only want partners who practice parallel or kitchen table polyamory, then I would proceed with caution until you know that this also feels right for you and your new metamour/s. How you approach your relationship with your metamour is your choice. It’s important to note that the arrangement you have should be defined by you and your metamour – and no one else, especially not your hinge partner. Multiamory’s podcast episode about these different approaches refers to them as levels of ‘entwinement’, which gives a good visual idea of how wrapped up you and your metamour/s may or may not become in each other’s lives. These approaches to or types of polyamory reflect the differing levels of contact/interaction metamours may have with each other, ranging from all (lap-sitting) to none (parallel). The partner you have in common is often referred to as the ‘hinge’ as they connect you and your metamour in a V formation. A metamour is your partner’s partner, as in someone who also has a relationship with the same person as you. What each of these terms describes is a different approach to metamour arrangements in polyamorous relationships. ![]() What does a piece of furniture have to do with multiple partners? Can you do lap-sitting at a garden party? ![]() When it comes to non-monogamous terminology, labels like lap-sitting, garden party and kitchen table polyamory can be confusing.
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